My Elsa was just recently twenty-five and her mother had her when she was only eighteen so that meant Simone was a middle-aged forty-three but you sure did not get that idea from the clothes she wore, the way she walked and talked and the people around her. She acted like a twenty year old and actually looked just as young as her beautiful daughter. My understanding was that Elsa's father was a Russian billionaire who had made the wrong statement at the wrong time and wound up in Siberia banished from his wife and his cash. There was little doubt he was no longer with us but nobody brought up that subject anymore without expectation of unwanted consequences.Elsa warned me that her mother was subject to some bizarre actions when she was high on the pain-killers she seemed to gobble up like candy when she was in the mood for a change of perceptions. I never actually saw her popping the pills but it seemed like the only explanation for some of her more famous exploits covered in great. So, my first night in London I was confronted with either Hooters or the Nice Place. The thought of eating wings again weighing heavily on my mind, and being a modestly adventurous sort, I thought the French place was more my kind of place. Perhaps in time I’d be pelted with snails swimming in garlic butter, but so what. Garlic, I assumed, had to be better than Tabasco. That’s how life goes when you jump out of your routine and into the fire. How do we get used to choosing between bad and the unknown. And how do we grow comfortable with such lousy points of view. Well, enough philosophy. No, let’s talk physics for a moment. Yes, Physics. You remember, of course, that heat rises? Well, odors don’t rise, as a rule, they sink like a stone and spread like lava, and I assume garlic simmering in white wine and butter has a specific gravity somewhat heavier than plutonium. Quail turds in a tartly amusing glaze of delicately expressed panty-liners with pommes et raw sewage? Nope, that’s.
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